New Filth, Limited Filth and Free Filth!
NEW FILTH
FUCKED-UP BEDTIME STORIES: SERIES ONE
For the first time ever, all twelve stories from the first series of Peter Caffrey’s Fucked-Up Bedtime Stories are available as a single edition. Not only that, the collection is available in paperback as well as eBook.
If you have yet to dip into the sordid world of ten-year old Arnold and his friend, Jimmy the Chimp (who happens to be a Satanic majesty), then here’s a few things people have said about the stories over on Goodreads.
“Well written, gross, vile, depraved and original.”
“The humor is outrageous and laugh out loud, and mixes well with the violence that will make a veteran extreme horror reader cringe.”
“Shocking, disturbing, gross, horrible, vile ... but absolutely brilliant!”
“I can't believe Peter Caffrey took things this far!”
“Arnold and Jimmy have a place in my head forever, and I do not want this to ever end!”
“This is one of my all-time favorite series, and they just keep getting better and better.”
“Too depraved and gross! Don’t let your kids go anywhere near this bedtime story.”
“Haven't laughed so much since my mother-in-law fell down the stairs and broke her leg.”
If you want a paperback version, you’ll have to shimmy over to Amazon. They also have the Kindle version, but the best place to buy the eBook is from Godless. Please note: the eBook of Series One does not include the audio narrations. These are ONLY available with the original individual stories via Godless.
Of course, there is a very pretty limited edition paperback too. See the story further on in this newsletter for more details…
𝗧𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: Let's be honest, if you have a trigger, it'll probably be in one of the stories somewhere. Incest, ritual slaughter, nonces, Ken Hom's cleaver, non-consensual sex, dog fighting, necrophilia, yoga, anal sausage insertions and unnecessary damage to a lawnmower all make a showing. Also, if you find the constant use of foul language puerile, I'd give it a fucking huge swerve!
Fun Fact: Fucked-Up Bedtime Stories was originally conceived as a series of short stories for my grand-daughters, although I pretty soon realised I’d missed the mark. The original working title was: Arnold, Why Are You Such a Cunt?
GIRL GANG CLUSTERFUCK IN CELL BLOCK B
Episode #4 of the ‘Mondo Perverso Night Out at the Cinema Without Going to the Cinema but with a Similar Feeling Albeit in a Book Experience’ has arrived, in the form of Girl Gang Clusterfuck in Cell Block B.
These stories are not only intended to recreate the vibe of 1970s grindhouse B-movies, but the included audio recording evokes the atmosphere of watching a cult film in a fleapit cinema. With trailers, adverts, announcements, a message from the director and full narration of the story, they really are worth a listen. For $0.99 for both the eBook and audio file, they’re a fucking steal. Where else would you get over an hour of entertainment for less than one dollar (unless you know my Mum)?
So what happens in Girl Gang Clusterfuck in Cell Block B?
When prison warder Molly McGinty checks in for her night shift on Friday the 13th, little does she know the horrors which lie ahead. While the numerous girl gangs tool up for an all-out war over drugs, tobacco and toilet wine, Molly wants nothing more than a quiet shift.
She has a lot to think about, not least her love for Prisoner 117213, also known as Big Bertha. When the carnage erupts, she faces a choice: does she follow duty or love? Which of her emotions will be stronger: her fanatical devotion to the law, or the throbbing feeling in her vagina?
It’s all kicking off in Cell Block B, where the violence is hard and the women are moist.
Girl Gang Clusterfuck in Cell Block B, plus the other Mondo Perverso titles, are only available from Godless.
LIMITED FILTH
FUCKED-UP BEDTIME STORIES: SERIES ONE (POUNDLAND CANDY FLOSS EDITION)
If you don’t get the Poundland Candy Floss reference, then you haven’t read the Fucked-Up Bedtime Stories (or not all of them). Anyway, this limited edition paperback is a homage to a certain character in the stories.
Only 25 were printed, and they'll NEVER be reprinted, ever again, in any format. Each copy is numbered, signed, and includes whatever I can think of saying as I sign it, along with a shit drawing of a cock and balls. You’ll also get a funky Fucked-Up Bedtime Stories bookmark. The Poundland Candy Floss edition is the same price as the normal edition (but obviously needs to be posted). At the time of writing, only eight copies are still available, so if you want one, act fast.
The only way to get one is to use the link in the pinned post of No ReMorse Reviews, run by Corrina Morse (yes, it is she on the cover). You can find the link in this No ReMorse Reviews post.
FREE FILTH
THE GOD OF WANKING BUDDY READ
So, everyone’s favourite horror podcast mummies, The Mothers of Mayhem, are having a buddy read of The God of Wanking, starting on March 26 2023. I think the general idea is people read the book and discuss it, and I generally make inane comments about masturbation which don’t really help anyone.
If you want to participate, I will be offering a free eBook version of The God of Wanking to anyone who doesn’t have one.
If you want to get involved, you can access it here!
So what’s The God of Wanking about?
After accidentally reviving a dormant demon, Diego is offered the deal of a lifetime. He can have his way with any woman he wishes, fulfilling his carnal desires. All he has to do in return is provide a regular supply of sperm. Like most schoolboys, he’s in the habit of regularly wanking, so he figures he has nothing to lose by agreeing to the pact.
Once the demon takes control, he manipulates the situation, leaving Diego trapped in a waking (or even wanking) nightmare. The daily duty becomes a millstone, dragging him down into an abyss of masturbatory misery.
Why does the demon want his semen, and has it anything to do with the numerous elderly women who are falling pregnant and giving birth to devil babies with unfeasibly large cocks? With the clergy and their militia hunting down the source of the impregnations, Diego finds himself a victim of the chaos.
As his world crumbles around him, his only hope is to free himself from the pact.