Here we go again!
More madness for the New Year
HAPPY NEW YEAR
First off, and before I start blathering about nonsense and forget, I want to say I hope 2026 is a good year for you all. After the past four years in the Caffrey household, we’re hoping for a better one, but can also take some solace from the fact that after all life has thrown at myself in Mrs C in recent years, we’re still here and taking it on the fucking chin!
So, what does 2026 look like? Well, the plans seem good, but to quote Robert Burns, “The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men, Gang aft agley.” For those of you not well versed in the Scottish brogue, the translation is pretty much this. “Just when you think you’re doing well, life will fly over you in a helicopter and drop a fucking huge anvil on your head!”
Mondo Perverso Pulpageddon
First off the rank is the Pulpageddon series: six short (ish; they’re around 60 pages each) tales written in a pulp fiction style. Thus far, the first three have been published, and 2026 will see the remaining titles come out of hiding. These are due on the 15th day of each month.
The books are a nod to the pulps which formed much of my early reading (yes, I am fucking old), and I’ve tried to honour them in every way, from cheesy plots, over-the-top characters, and adventures rife with violence, lust, and chaos.
I’ve also respected the fact that pulps should be low cost, so these are priced at $0.99 (£0.77) each. With something for every taste (hardboiled crime, horror, dark fantasy, swashbuckling pirates, mad monsters, and sci-fi), I hope this will amuse without costing too much.
Death Cult Cuties - Now Available
Mary Brannigan’s Devil Baby - Now Available
Lascivious Lilith, Slayer of Midgets - Now Available
The Final Voyage of Captain Clunge - Available for Preorder - Release January 15, 2026
Pigchimp Carnage in Fat City - Available for Preorder - Release February 15, 2026
Ugly Terror on Space Station Sex - Available for Preorder - Release March 15, 2026
Flesh for the Majesty
Due to be published in late Spring 2026, Flesh for the Majesty will be grotesque, dark, and reassuringly surreal. The novel tells the story of one man’s determination to fight back against a trickster God.
When the fish-lady’s basket breaks in the central marketplace, Eduardo seizes the opportunity to speak to the woman he has worshipped from afar for many years. After receiving two Arapaima as compensation for his help, he boldly asks if she’d like to visit his home that night while he cooks them for their supper, and much to his surprise, she agrees.
However, what should become the night of his life quickly spirals into carnage when, after dinner, he pops out to buy some ice cream for dessert. On his way into town he is attacked, and his manhood is ripped off by Juanita, who then tries to choke him using his own member.
Who is the mysterious Juanita, and more importantly, who is the Majesty she serves? How will the theft of Eduardo’s penis impact on his life? Can he discover the truth, battle the Majesty, and regain his missing manhood before he becomes a mumbling meat machine with no emotions, like many of the other men in his village?
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wonder what the fuck is going on as the surreal tale unfolds to reveal a world of chaos, disorder, depravity, and duplicity.
Flesh for the Majesty is not your average tale of trickster Gods, wanton harlots, and dismembered penises. No indeed; it’s altogether different.
The Cunterbury Tales
Okay, it’s not new, but it will soon be available again! The Cunterbury Tales was originally written as a limited edition paperback to raise funds for Lingen Davies Cancer Fund (the organisation which funds the oncology unit where both Mrs C and myself were treated). There were only 69 copies made available, and these raised an incredible £2,792.03 (around $3,725.00).
Featuring 24 pieces, The Cunterbury Tales follows some of the world’s worst pilgrims on their journey to venerate the withered spleen of Saint Augustine. Combing verse and prose, this book will be enough to make Chaucer rise from the dead and pluck the eyes from his head.
Including a Zookeeper with a penchant for bestiality, a Courtesan with a conniving approach to business, a Midwife with murderous intent, a Lunatic following God’s commands, and a Butcher with an interesting sideline, plus many others, these tales are gross, puerile, offensive, and also raise money to help fight cancer.
From 29 March 2026 (one year after its launch), The Cunterbury Tales will be available as an eBook for the first time. There will never be another printed version, so those original 69 copies remain the only copies which will ever appear on paper, and that won’t change!
As with the paperback, every penny (while Mrs C and myself swallowed all the costs on the paperback book, Amazon will obviously insist on taking their cut on the eBooks) will go to the charity.
Why am I doing this? Well, a lot of work went into the book, and there’s still money out there for the charity. Almost every week, someone asks about how to get a copy, and many people simply could not afford the overseas postage for the paperback.
So, here’s the thing: I’m going to price it higher than my usual eBooks, but I also want to be fair and put forward an offer! Pre-orders (from now through to March 28, 2026) will cost $3.99 (£2.99). However, the price will rise to $4.99 (£3.75) after the launch.
Yes, it’s for charity, but trust me on one thing: it’s a fucking funny read as well!
Pre-order now to save a dollar, and kick cancer in its proverbial arsehole/asshole!
Jack is Dead
Jack Walker thinks his wife is cheating on him. After sharing his concerns with a man in the fish and chip shop, he receives some advice: have her followed. Fighting his reservations, Jack finds a local detective, Edward Cooper, but despite taking a dislike to the man, decides to hire him.
Everything quickly unravels as Cooper becomes ever more unpredictable, and following one strange incident, any control Jack had over his own life is taken away.
Who is Edward Cooper, and why is manipulating everything in Jack’s world?
Due for publication in early Autumn 2026, Jack is Dead is a bleak, twisted, psychological tale of distrust, uncertainty, and surrender.
A Big Thank You!
In 2025, my major release was The Ballad of Seven Bastards, a brutal tale of manipulation, greed, and violent retribution. The well-read Christina Pfeiffer over at Uncomfortably Dark rated the book at #5 of the best books released in 2025, which was somewhat humbling.
Taking a much darker tone than my previous work, it follows a series of fractured relationships where trust is non-existent, and revenge is well overdue.
I’d like to thank everyone who read the book, and all those who left reviews.
It means the world to me!
Haven’t read it yet? Grab a copy here. It’s available in paperback, eBook, and on the Amazon KU platform!
Finally…
Yes, I know; I’ve wittered on a bit, but here’s the last thing. In 2026, I intend to actually remember to do this newsletter on a regular basis. I’ll also be using it to push some exclusive special offers, give away stuff, and seek ARC readers for forthcoming projects, so only unsubscribe if you really don’t want any of that stuff!
Right up my alley!